Gay and Lesbian Civil Unions & Commitment Ceremonies

I am registered as a Civil Union Celebrant.  I am happy to meet with you and help you to plan the celebration for same-sex or opposite-sex couples.  This also applies to the Commitment Ceremonies if you would prefer that.

For some ideas of venues in Wellington to Upper Hutt, click here

Here are some example vows: (see also Service Selections)

The vows of Jane & Tess:

Minister: Jane, will you love Tess when you are together and when you are apart;  when life is peaceful and when it is disordered; when you are proud or her and when you are disappointed in her;  in times of leisure and in times of work;  will you honour Tess's goals and dreams and help her fulfil them?

Jane: I will.

Minister: Jane, repeat after me: "I Jane, take you, Tess, to be my partner, to love and to cherish you, to honour and to comfort you, to stand by you in sorrow or in joy, in hardship or in ease, to be both your lover and your closest friend."

Minister: As you place this ring, symbol of your commitment in marriage, on Tess's finger, repeat after me: "With this ring, I wed you and pledge my faithful love."

The Vows of Susan and Mary:

These vows come from my heart.  I pledge to love you forever.  To be open, honest, and faithful to you.  I promise to be your best friend — to laugh, cry, sing and dance with you.  To nurture your spiritual growth and to support your dreams.  To allow you freedom and room for personal growth to become the person you are yet to be.  I promise to help create a home filled with reverence for learning, loving, generosity, and serenity.  To bring gentleness to the relationship.  I promise to listen — and honour your words and feelings.  To work through the conflicts and to resolve our problems.  I promise to comfort and to challenge you.  And to nurture your sexual being and to be your romantic lover.

The vows of Joe and Randy:

And now . . . with this ring, and before our friends and God, I promise to stay by your side, sharing our tomorrows and all that they hold;  to be with you in good times and bad;  through sickness and health, and though times of happiness and despair.  I will always be faithful to our love and to you . . . my lover, my spouse, and most of all . . . my best friend.

The vows from David to Norman:

Norman,
This is my commitment to you:
To always be here for you,
In comfort and in joy
For good, for better, and for best;
To always value your thoughts and feelings,
Even when they may differ from my own;
To always be honest with you,
Even when that honesty may be hurtful;
To always respect you as my best friend,
My one and only love,
And my soul mate,
In this life and hereafter;
And to never let any man, woman, animal or object
Become more important to me
Than this, out mutual bond.
To seal these solemn commitments,
I call as my witnesses
Oscar Wilde
Andy Wharhol,
Tennessee Williams,
Gertrude Stein,
and Alice B. Toklas.

______, I am proud to announce in public that I _______, take you, _______, as my lifelong partner. To share with you a relationship of love, tenderness and laughter.I will stand by you through all our tomorrows, respecting your individuality, your needs, and your changes and promise to enjoy your love throughout our lives.

"We gather today as Brothers in Christ to witness and celebrate the beginning of a new journey in life for these two that present themselves before us this day. This ceremony is the outward and visible sign of a sacred union of hearts and love. We rejoice in their commitment to one another and it is our prayer that they have a long and happy life together.

"The scriptures tell us of the love between Jesus and James and of David and Jonathan. It is only right and proper that Alex Clayton and Ted Baxter come forward to have their pairing consecrated. I would ask that they answer, before us all, these questions to declare their eternal devotion.

________, do you choose ______ to be your exclusive partner from this day on? Do you give yourself to him? Do you commit yourself to him for the rest of your journey in life? Do you pledge yourself to him in love and work; to cherish him above all others and respect his individuality, and encourage him in each endeavor he might pursue? Do you promise to stay and be with him through whatever life bestows upon the two of you, be it good times or bad, sickness and health, happiness and sorrow, until you are separated by death?"

Here is an example commitment ceremony. 

Minister:

Friends and family of ______ & _______ welcome.  _______ and _______, we have come as friends and family to be with you as you commit yourselves to each other.  We have come because we want to support you, and wish you every happiness in the future.  We come with our love, friendship and support and this is the greatest gift we can give you.

______ and _______ are making this commitment to each other because they believe that their relationship is about committed caring and giving.  They are continuing to learn to share their lives with each other.  Their relationship involves being prepared to face together whatever adversity may arise from day-to-day living, it is enjoying all the good times that will be spent together.  Together you will share your desires, longings, dreams and memories and help each other through your uncertainties.  Such a relationship demands patience, tolerance, a sense of humour and above all, continual recommitment to each other.

Here amidst their friends and relatives, _______ and _______ wish to pledge their love for each other and their desire to spend their lives together. They wish to share within the joy of their relationship a deeper understanding of love and what it means.

This commitment you make to each other bears witness to a relationship so close and intimate that it will profoundly influence your whole future, unknown in its failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows.

Realising the full importance of these words, it is a tribute to your faith in each other that you are willing to embark on such a future together.

Love is not easy but no greater blessing can come to your lives.  So may this love which joins your hands and hearts today, grow deeper and stronger as the years go on.

_______ & _______:

I give this ring as a sign and symbol of my love.

Minister:

_______ & _______, in this commitment you have made special promises to each other, and have symbolised them by joining hands and giving rings;
I therefore pronounce you partners together in life's journey.
May you treasure this trust and responsibility and live full and rich lives together.

Minister gives a short talk about things to watch out for in their life together.

Prayer:

We are grateful for friends and relatives whose care and love have helped _____ & ______ through the past; whose patience and concern have been a constant source of strength and hope. These friends and relatives, many gathered here today, are cause for joy and thanks.

Our prayer now, is for ______ & ______, that they may continue to grow in love and mature as individuals.

May all they undertake together be tempered by respect, understanding and acceptance of each other.

Let their lives be a blessing, a sign of Christ's love in this broken world, so that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair. May their love strengthen them, so that they are enabled to reach out in concern to others,

Let ________ and ______ be to each other strength in times of need, counsel in times of confusion, comfort in times of pain, and companion in times of joy.

And we pray for ourselves - that love may be a reality in our lives, inspiring our thoughts, motivating our actions, reaching out to others as a sign in our world.

Departure:

Let us spend a little time in silence thinking of _______ and ______ as they go forth to their life together.

(silence)

We extend to you our interest and our good wishes, our friendship and our love in the promises you have made to each other.

May you have long life and every joy together.

May you live long together in joy and steadfastness through all the trials and triumphs that life has to offer you.

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others . . . they too have their story.

Be yourself, especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love: for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is a perennial grass . . .

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune but do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe ... the universe is unfolding as it should, therefore be at peace with God . . in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.

Go in peace; as one. And may your unity last through all your life together; through the trials and triumphs that lie ahead of you, so that at the end you may feel just as you do now - very happy to be in love and together.

Go now in peace ....