Most Western Christian Wedding/Union services have the following structure:
Various parts of the service can be omitted if desired or your own words used.
Below is a selection of possible words that can be used as a basis for putting together your own service.
In an informal setting:
1. Minister introduces himself and say what his role is on this occasion.
2. Says something about the setting and its significance (if applicable).
3. Welcomes the guests.
e. g. My Name is Norman Knipe, I'm a minister in the presbytarian church and it my pleasure to be the minister/celebrant at this special celebration. We are glad to be here with you to celebrate new beginnings, to witness your marriage, and to
express our hopes for your future.
Friends and family of ______ and ______ welcome.
We have come as friends and family to be with you as you promise yourselves
to each other in marriage/commitment. We have come because we want to support you, and wish you every happiness in the future. We are here because we are involved in your lives. We are willing to help, if we are asked, and you may call on us in times of trouble. This is the greatest gift we can give you: our time and ourselves are our gift to you when you ask for them.
The couple may alternatively welcome the guests themselves.
Pray For Our Love
(Tune: Morning has Broken WOV 241)Standing together facing the future,
Sure of each other, glad in our love.
Say hope is golden, say it is dream time,
Pray for our future, pray for our love.Standing together, promising truly
We will be loyal, we understand.
Say love is joyous, say it's enchantment,
Pray for our promise, pray for our love.Life is for sharing, love is for giving,
Now and forever, near and away.
Standing together, each will be strengthened,
Pray for our marriage, pray for our love
Gracious Lord We Ask Your Blessing
(Tune: Beethoven's "Ode to Joy" WOV 92)Gracious Lord we ask your blessing,
On these two who stand today
As they make a new beginning,
In a fresh and loving way.We, who love them bless and thank you
For the memories we hold dear,
For your love which planned their union.
For your Grace which brought them here.May they have the benediction
Of your presence as they go,
Comforting, sustaining, giving
Quickened hearts that burn and glow;
And may gracious, deep devotion
Fill their lives with fragrance rare
Telling needy hearts around them
Of a love which all can share.May their hopes and dreams and longings
Be transformed their whole life through
Into memories they will treasure
Bound with love undimmed and true.
We would wish them all the gladness
That this life can hold in store
Faith and hope, and joyful service.
We would ask for them and more.
O Lord our God
(Tune: How Great Thou Art WOV 628)O Lord our God, your love for us is greater than human mind, or head, or heart can tell, It's in that love, that we have found each other, that we can share the joy we know so well.
Chorus:
Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to thee, How great thou art, how great thou art, Then sings my soul, my Saviour God to thee, How great thou art, how great thou art.
Throughout our lives your love and care have nurtured, preparing us for all of life to come, And now, O God, in trust we stand before you, and offer prayer that you will make us one.
With all our friends we now rejoice together, We take our vows and pledge our lasting love, To share our joys and bear each other's burdens, To reassure by look, and touch, and word.
And so our God, with joyful expectation, We sign our names and face our world to be, Out in the world we'll live and work together, Our delight to fill each other's need.
Friends and relatives of __________and ________we are gathered together to witness the promises of these two people to the bond of marriage, and to share with them their happiness and hopes for the future.
__________ and __________ believe that marriage provides the stability in which their love and concern for each other may continue to grow, both physically and spiritually. Marriage is about caring and giving. It is learning to share one's life with another person. It is being prepared to face together whatever adversity may arise from day to day living and it is enjoying all the good times that will be spent together. It is not the submersion of one in the other but exists for the benefit of both. It enables two individuals to share their desires, longings, dreams and memories, and to help each other through out their uncertain ties. Such a relationship demands patience, tolerance, a sense of humour, and above all, continual recommitment to each other.
Here amidst their friends and relatives __________ and __________ wish to pledge their love for each other and their desire to spend their lives together.
(Therefore if either of you know any reason why you may not be joined in marriage, you should now declare it)
We have gathered in this place to celebrate the marriage of ____________ and ___________
We come with expectancy and joy of what their relationship will mean and how it will grow as a result of the commitment they are about to make today. We come with hope and enthusiasm, encouraging them and supporting them as they enter this new phase of their lives. ____________and___________ we are happy to be here to celebrate with you what already exists the living love of two who have found joy and meaning together. In a mysterious yet very happy way you bring together two pasts different in memories, traditions and hopes, and also in love. That will not change but will colour the future, so that as you become one you will also remain two, and that is good. Marriage is not intended to be a melting pot where differences cease to exist, but rather the place where you can be fully and honestly yourself, sharing in the deepest level of life all that you have and all that you are.
___________ and _____________ we join with you, to give thanks for the past, to celebrate the present, and to look forward with hope to the future that lies ahead of you.
This marriage that you ___________________ and ______________________ are about to contract today is a most sacred and serious union, requiring of you who enter into it a complete and unreserved giving of self, demanding nothing, and loving despite all faults.
This union, because it will bind you together for life in a relationship so close and intimate, will profoundly influence your whole future, unknown in its hopes, its disappointments, its pains, its joys and its sorrows. And so, not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health.
Realising the full importance of these words, it is a tribute to your faith in each other that you are willing to embark on such a future together. Because this requires such solemn obligations, it is fitting that you should vest the security of your married life upon the great principle of self-sacrifice, surrendering individual concern to the deeper and wider life which you are to share.
Sacrifice is not easy, but perfect love can make it a joy, and no greater blessing can come to your lives than pure married love, loyal and true to the end. So may this love which joins your hands and hearts today, grow deeper and stronger as the years go on.
Let us then thank God for this marriage and ask for sincerity in making the vows.
Let us pray.
Almighty God, we thank you for the gift of marriage, and for the joys it brings. We thank you for bringing us together to share in this solemn act, and to rejoice in this union.
We thank you for the love which has brought _____________ and ____________together, and made them want to live together for the rest of their lives.
Eternal God, our true and loving Creator, we ask you to help ___________ and __________ as they enter their marriage.
Make them as conscious of your presence as they are of ours, and give them the confidence that you will help them to be true to each other, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen
Let us then thank God for this marriage and ask for sincerity in making the vows.
Let us pray.
Almighty God, we thank you for the gift of marriage, and for the joys it brings. We thank you for bringing us together to share in this solemn act, and to rejoice in this union.
We thank you for the love which has brought __________ and __________ together, and made them want to live together for the rest of their lives.
Eternal God, our true and loving Creator, we ask you to help ___________ and _________ as they enter their marriage.
Make them as conscious of your presence as they are of ours, and give them the confidence that you will help them to be true to each other, through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen
Giving of the Bride
At this point in the service the traditional custom of the Giving of the Bride normally takes place.
It is a custom which goes back a long way to the times when a woman had no independence at all, either personally or financially and it therefore had a practical purpose in transferring responsiblity from father to husband.
That aspect really has little place or significance in today's world. However, the custom does enshrine something of real value which ________ and ________ want to acknowledge, that is the support and encouragement of family and friends.
I therefore ask you ________ as (Father) of ________ the Bride, and representing the families linked on the occasion : Do you give your blessing to the marriage of ________ and ________
To any children of the bride or groom: Will you help ________ and _________ in their marriage?
WE WILL
Blessing
Oh God, bless us with a sense or your presence as we gather here. Keep us awake to the wonder of things which fill our days.
Deepen in us the spirit of our loving, both for those close to us, and for those who, though stranger, need our concern.
Especially we ask your blessing on _________and ________ whose marriage we celebrate this day.
Help them, as they make their promises to each other, that they may pledge their vows with sincerity, knowing full well the meaning of the words they say.
And grant to us all a heightened sense of joy in life because we share this moment with them.
Amen.
To the Wedding Party, or to the whole congregation:
a) Will you, who have come to witness this exchange of vows do all in your power to support and uphold this marriage, now and in the years ahead
b) Do you, the family and friends of ________ and ________ promise them your love and support in their life together?
(the congregation may respond by voice or by acclamation)
c) Do you, the parents of ________ and ________ give your love and blessing to them both? WE DO.
d) Do you, on behalf of both families, give your blessing to the marriage of ________ and ________
The bride's escort says: 1 DO.
Paul To Corinth
The love of which I speak is slow to lose patience;
It looks for ways of being constructive.
It is not possessive.
It is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish
inflated ideas of its own importance.
Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage.
It is not touchy
It does not keep account of evil.
It is always eager to believe the best.
Always hopeful
Always patient.
It is a love which knows no limit to its endurance
Not fading to its hope.
It is in fact the one thing that still
remains when everything else has disappeared.(I Corinthians 13)
From "The Prophet" by Kahil Gibran
Then Almitra spoke again and said And what of marriage, master? And he answered saying:
You were born to be together and together you shall be for evermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days. Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love; let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup, but drink not from the one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same Loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous but let each one of you be alone even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping; for only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together. For the pillars of the Temple stand apart and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.
From "Inscape" by Ross Snyder
Out of wild exuberance of creation throughout millions of years, you two have appeared - each of you unique, distinctive, wonderously personal.
You have chosen to journey together down this earth valley in the brief moment of time that is yours.
From this day forth you become a unit of life that will bring forth futures.
You are both called into a new existence.
The old things have passed away; the new heaven and a new earth have become your dwelling place;
For the whole of the universe has come to each of you in the form of a particular person who has a unique love for you,
and is beloved by you.
__________ and __________ do you believe that it is the purpose of God for you to enter into marriage with each other?
WE DO.
__________ will you take __________ as your wife in marriage?
Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health, and be faithful to her as long as you both live?
I WILL.
__________ will you take __________ as your husband in marriage?
Will you love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health, and be faithful to him as long as you both live?
I WILL.
__________ do you love and trust and want to live with her sharing everything?
I DO.
Will you stand by her no matter what happens, respecting her individuality, understanding her needs, accepting her changes and enjoying her love until death parts you?
I WILL.
Do you love and trust and want to live with him, sharing everything?
I DO.
will you stand by him no matter what happens, respecting his individuality, understanding his needs, accepting his changes, and enjoying his love until death parts you?
I WILL.
In the presence of our families and friends, and before God, I __________ covenant with you , __________ to be my lawful wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, honour and cherish, as long as we both shall live. I pray that God will give me the grace to carry out these vows.
Do you love and trust and want to live with her/him, sharing everything?
YES
Will you stand by her/him no matter what happens respecting her/his individuality, understanding her/ his needs, accepting her/his changes and enjoying her/his love, until death parts you.
I WILL
Groom:
I love you today, I take you to be my lawful wife. Whatever life may bring I will love you and care for you always.Bride:
And I love you, as you take me to be your wife, so I joyfully take you to be my lawful husband. Whatever life may bring, I will love and care for you always.
Together:
To laugh with you in joy, to grieve with you in sorrow, to grow with you in love, to live with you in peace and hope - as long as we both shall live
Groom:
I covenant with you to be your legal husbandBride:
I also covenant with you to be your legal wife
Groom:
I, ________ take you ________ to be my wife. I promise to share my life openly with you. To care for in sickness and health. To provide support in raising your son/daughter _________, and to keep your feet warm as long as there is heat in my heart.Bride:
___________, with you I have learned to laugh again. And I have dared to dream of a bright future. I promise to give you the best of myself and ask no more than you can give. I shall share in your dreams and comfort you in your sorrows. I look forward to our future and for us to grow old together. And ... I promise to keep your heart warm provided you keep my feet warm.
Groom:
________, today our lives will be joined in perfect harmony; the music which unites us, comes not from our voices, but from out hearts. You have shown me time and again that, together, we are strong enough to defeat anything that threatens to come between us. I promise to always believe in the strength of our love, and our commitment to one another.Bride:
________, here in front of everyone we love, I give you everything that I am - my dreams and my fears, my triumphs and my failures. I trust you _______, and I will always endeavour to be worthy of your trust in me. If we face times of struggle and hardship, you can depend on me to support and proctect you ________ no matter what the cost.
Groom:
________, you are God's precious gift to me, my springtime, my hope and my joy. You are everything that's good and pure and true and I worship you with my mind, body and soul. How blessed I am to be able to say that you are mine, to be able to love and cherish you for the rest of my days. I vow to be there for you always; when you fall I will catch you; when you cry I will comfort you; when you laugh, I will share your joy. Everything I am and everything I have is yours , from this moment forth and for eternity.
Bride:
_________, as we meet here with our family and friends, I pledge my love to you, and invite you to share my life as I hope to share yours. I promise to walk by your side as your best friend, your lover and your soul mate. I will share your laughter and tears and promise always to respect you as an individual and to be conscious of your needs. I promise to support your dreams and to be there for you for all of our lives.Soul Mates
I take you to be my wife/husband. I come here today to joun my life to yours, before our friends and family. In their presence, I pledge to be true to you, to respect you, and to grow with you through the years no matter what we may encounter together.
I take you to be my wife/husband. I invite you to share my life as my partner, as my supporter, my friend and my lover. I promise always to respect your needs and to accept you as you are. I promise to honour this pledge as long as I live.
Today I marry my friend and soul mate. The one I have learned from and shared with. The one I have chosen to support and encourage. Our relationship has been built up with trust and honesty and I promise to share with you my heart and soul. I promist to always love, honour and respect you through laughter, tears and through this lifetime of adventure together.
I take you to be my wife/husband. I invite you to share my life as my partner, my supporter, my friend, my lover. I will do anything I can to maintain our love. I will talk to you and listen to you. I will give to you and take from you. I love you for yourself and I want you to become all that you can be. Our love is very special and I will always love you, my friend.
(If there is to be a sharing of rings, the bridegroom places a ring on this wife's finger, and the bride a ring on her husband's finger; then, with hands clasped, they say):
THESE RINGS ARE SIGNS OF OUR JOINING TOGETHER IN MARRIAGE AND SYMBOLS OF ALL THAT WE SHALL SHARE.
(For a single ring ceremony, they say):
THIS RING IS A SIGN OF OUR JOINING TOGETHER IN MARRIAGE AND A SYMBOL OF ALL THAT WE SHALL SHARE.
THESE RINGS ARE A SIGN OF OUR COM MITM ENT AND A TOKEN OF OUR LOVE.
(Say together or separately).
Celebrant: In confirmation of the promises you have made, the ring is now given and received.Groom:
THIS RING I GIVE AS A SIGN OF OUR PROMISES AND A TOKEN OF OUR LOVE.Bride:
THIS RING I SHALL WEAR AS A SIGN OF OUR PROMISES AND A TOKEN OF OUR LOVE.Groom, then Bride:
I GIVE YOU THIS RING AS A SIGN AND SYMBOL oF MY LOVE.
I GIVE YOU THIS RING AS A SYMBOL OF OUR MARRIAGE IN THE NAME OF GOD, AND OF THE SON, AND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT.
I GIVE YOU THIS RING TO BE A TOKEN OF MY CONSTANT FAITHFULNESS AND LOVE, AND AS A SYMBOL THAT ALL I HAVE I SHARE WITH YOU.
This ring will always be for you a sign of the promises you have made, and the bond of marriage between you.
(By this sign you take each other, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse; for richer for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, till death separates you.)
Celebrant:
_______, as you place this ring, as a visible sign of your commitment in marriage on ______ finger, please repeat after me:Groom:
_______ please wear this ring, and the world will know that I am yours and you are mine.
Bride:
_______ I accept this ring as a symbol that I belong with you. This ring will remind me of you, I will wear it with love all my life.
Celebrant:
_______ as you place this ring as a visible sign of your commitment in marriage on _______ finger, please repeat after me.Bride:
_______ please wear this ring, and the world will know that I am your and you are mine.Groom:
_______ I accept this ring as a symbol that I belong with you. This ring will remind me of you, I will wear it with love all my life.Celebrant:
_______ and ______, you have made sacred promises to each other and symbolised them by joining hands and giving rings. I therefore you are husband and wife.
You have made your promises one to the other before us all.
I pronounce you to be husband and wife, And express on behalf of us all our deep desire for your joy and happiness together.
__________ and __________ You have made marriage promises together, and have declared this outwardly before God and this company.
I pronounce you husband and wife together.
May God help you to keep the vows you have made in your life together.
In the light of the love that led you here, and of the promises you have made to one another before God, I declare you to be husband and wife.
In the name of God the Creator, Son and Holy Spirit. Those whom God has joined together, none must separate.
May God's love refresh the lives of all who have gathered here today. May the vows made by __________ and __________ remind us of our love for others.
May the friendship we have for them grow in meaning as the years pass.
The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the fellowship in the Holy Spirit be with us all.
The blessing of the God of Sarah and Abraham. The blessing of the son, born of woman Mary, The blessing of the Holy Spirit who broods over us as a mother with her children, be with you all.
Amen.
Apache Blessing
Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.
Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other.
Now there will be no loneliness, for each of you will be companion to the other.
Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.
May beauty surround you both in the journey ahead and through all the years.
May happiness be your companion and your days together be good and long upon the earth.Treat yourselves and each other with respect, and remind yourselves often of what brought you together.
Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your connection deserves.
When frustration, difficulties, and fear assail your relationship, as they threaten all relationships at one time or another, remember to focus on what is right between you, not only the part which seems wrong.
In this way, you can ride out the storms, when clouds hide the face of the sun in your lives - remembering that even if you lose sight of it for a moment, the sun is still there.
And if each of you takes responsibility for the quality of your life together it will be marked by abundance and delight.
__________ and __________ have been given to each other and to their friends. We rejoice now in the gift.
May the future fulfil the promise of today; and the richness and joy of their love now, grow and be shared for ever.
Amen.
Now, may the courage of the early morning's dawning, The strength of eternal hills and wide open fields, The joy of silent streams and the gentle wind, The beauty of flowered gardens and the song of birds, And the faith of youth be in your hearts:
And the love of God, That alone can build happiness, That makes family love flourish with the radiance of great joy, be with you always.
And the peace of a quiet evening's ending and of the midnight, be yours now and for ever. Amen.
Go in peace; as one. And may your unity last through all your life together; through the trials and triumphs that lie ahead of you, so that at the end you may feel just as you do now very happy to be in love and married.
Go now In peace
God sends us Into the world to accept the cost, and to discover the joy of discipleship. Therefore, go - carrying with you the peace of Christ, the love of God, and the encouragement of the Holy Spirit, in trial and rejoicing.
Amen